Synopsis:
It's a collection of crazy tales as the Watcher's serious demeanor finally cracks and we learn the answer to the question "What if the Watcher were a stand up comedian?" Expect lots of crazy stories, a treatise on the difference between an alternate reality and an imaginary tale, and a joke or two at Black Bolt's expense.
Synopsis: A one-page introduction welcomes the reader to what is sure to be an untraditional issue of What If? It starts with Uatu the Watcher seen from a distance on a barren plane. Before he can even be clearly made out the Watcher pontificates on the vagaries of history and observation. Someone needs to burst his bubble and who better than the Watcher's alternate self.
Synopsis: Have you ever wondered what the subtle differences are between an imaginary story and an alternate reality story? Well too bad, because the Watcher is going to tell you anyway, but he has to do it quick because he has an appointment in the Kree Galaxy. Witness imaginary tales (or is that alternate realities) featuring the Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Captain America and a few others.
Synopsis: Sometimes, fate seems to make good combinations, case in point Demon plus Stunt Rider equals Ghost Rider. Other times fate is not so wise witness what happens when a spirit of vengeance joins with an elderly nursing home patron, a sweet, roller-skating beach babe and an infant in a stroller. Fate is not always wise.
Synopsis: There is a world where if you are once an Avenger, you are always an Avenger. Is the more always the merrier, or has this Merry Marvel Marching Society final reached it's limit? How many Avengers does it take to foil a candy store holdup and is their any chance that Jarvis can provide proper butlering for this superhero horde?
Synopsis: Three startiling tales that are so awe-inspiring that they could only be told in a single panel. What if Him had married Her? What if Black Bolt got the hiccups? And finally, What if Galactus ate the Earth? Witness the answers to these questions that are so big they require no words and hardly any pictures to answer.
Synopsis: What would it take to turn the world's most savage man into a Diploma wielding, tie-wearing member of the anonymous bureaucracy. It turns out, not much. This alternate reality starts with a trip to the city for some electrolysis treatments and then takes a winding turn through a mail-order accounting course. Where will it end?
Synopsis: In a four-color universe does it really matter what color you are? Find out in these exciting stories: What if the Hulk were Yellow? What if the Invisible Girl dyed her hair? What if Power Man were white? and What if the Thing were Blue? Featuring such memorable one-liners as, "Luke Cage is a Funky Honky!" and "It's Slobbering Time!"
Synopsis: Death is always the end, but what if it wasn't? If these inspirational figures lives had not been cut so tragically short would they continue on the same path or veer of in some new direction find out in this trio of tales: What if Captain Marvel hadn't died? What if Phoenix still lived? and What if Elektra had survived?
Synopsis: In the reality that we know the mutant named Dazzler became a singer and used her mutant ability to transduce sound into light to enhance her stage act. Things may have turned out differently if she had decide to branch out into another area of entertainment, stand up comedy. How can a mutant stand-up defend herself from an angry mob?
Synopsis: In our world, comic book stories were once simplified to reach a younger audience. In another reality Spider-Man comics are altered once again, but for a different target audience. Witness this the all-talk, no-action adventure as Spider-Man takes on the Mad Thinker were it hurts, the logic center.
Synopsis: Are people defined by their circumstances or are circumstances defined by their people. Find out in another quick trio of tales, including: What if Willie Lumpkin were herald to Galactus? What if Ghost Rider owned a fast food franchise? and What if all the super heroes who live in New York City moved to Toledo, Ohio?
Synopsis: The Watchers are charged with a great duty, to be the observers of all existence and countless realities, but who watches the Watchers? More importantly, if the Watchers did the job what would that look like. Find out what happens when the tables are finally turned and the ones who watch become the ones who are watched.
Synopsis: In a comic that could be published by the Canine Comics Group, Howard the Duck has hand picked a team from the least human members of the Marvel Universe. Devil Dinosaur, Redwing, Zabu, Emma, Lockjaw, Aragorn and Dragon Man are all among the chosen. But when the Duck calls will the team come. Don't miss the hidden jab and the Distinguished Competition.
Synopsis: Is anatomy destiny? Find out in these three short, but titanic tales featuring slight alterations in the tongue, the sensory organs and...place best left unspoken. Read: What if Thor had a Swedish Accent? What if Cyclops's energy beams came out of his ears? and What if Wonder Man were a Woman and Power Man were a girl?
Synopsis: In our world, he is a mighty king, but in another world Black Bolt has a job much more fitting for his outrageous attire and grim visage. Witness what happens when the Inhumans form their own rock band and start performing Rolling Stones covers (Wasn't this joke already in this issue?). Even the Watcher doesn't want to stick around for the answer.
Synopsis: In this little known Daredevil tale, written and illustrated by the legendary Frank Miller, and unlikely change in disability transforms the man without fear into the man without hear...ing. How would the crimson crusaders life be different if he could not hear the embittered battlecries and reluctant confessions of his many foes.
Synopsis: Have you ever wondered about those people who are responsible for the littlest, tiniest, itsy-bitiest details of producing Marvel Comics? You have! Seriously? Okay, well here is a collection of anecdotes and caricatures sure to please and inform only the most diehard fan, and perhaps the mothers of those featured.
Synopsis: Just in time to upstage the production crew comes a collection of portraits and profiles of Marvel's editorial staff. Find out all the most intimate facts about this motely collection of individuals responsible for bringing you all the monthly Marvel goodness, circa 1982. Most importantly, find out who is the Bizarro Bob Budiansky (isn't Bizzaro DC?).
Synopsis: Sometimes people get mixed up. Sometimes origins get mixed. When all this happens what is the result? Three stories: What if Tony Stark had owned an auto plant instead of a weapons factory? What if Sue Storm had become the Thing? and What if Moon Knight got all his identities mixed up? answer the question
Synopsis: Sasquatch, Guardian, Northstar, Aurora, and Shaman give the reader a peek into a world where the comedy of Bob and Doug McKenzie has penetrated comics and Canada's number one super-team. There are plenty of "ehs", "g-days" and "hosers" to go around and even a cameo by John Byrne in talking portrait form.
Synopsis: Finally some action comes to this comedy issue of What If in the form of two titanic tales. What if the Silver Surfer, White Tiger, Night Rider, Iceman and Moon Knight fought Wendigo in a snowstorm? and What if the Black Panther fought the Shroud, Master of Darkness, in a Coal Mine? Featuring art by Tom Defalco.
Synopsis: Sometimes being a costumed vigilante, leaping from roof top to roof top and battling the scum of the earth is the easiest part of your day. Witness how the Moon Knight spends his free time as an overexuberant exterminator, a rat-fur coat millionaire and, perhaps most degrading of all, an editor for a major comic book company.
Synopsis: Bing Conan and his friend Chester (who bears and uncanny resemblence to Bob Hope) are on a tropical cruise of the high seas, which is not as glamorous as it sounds. Suddenly they are swallowed by a big fish and deposited on a desert island. Shotgun weddings and gorrilla fights abound in the classic hollywood tradition.
Synopsis: Another trio of crazy one panel stories including: What if Black Bolt hosted a television talk show (really, this is the third time they've used this joke this issue)? What if Bruce Banner's pants didn't stretch when he became the Hulk? and What if you went to the movies and had to sit behind the Leader?
Synopsis: An imaginary story and an alternate reality story make up these two strips. Featuring the stories: What if Aunt May became a super hero? (see the Golden Oldie, The Astonishing Ant-Aunt, and Auntie Freeze) and What if Reed Richards had not invented unstable molecules? (Johnny Storm gets naked but the Invisble Woman does not)
Synopsis: Terry Austin and Roger Stern take over for the Watcher and offer two versions of an imaginary union between the Hulk and the She-Hulk (I guess they forgot that they are cousins). Would the result be an "I Love Lucy"-like sitcom romp or more like those old Blondie and Dagwood comic strips? More importantly can Terry and Roger survive the wrath of the Watcher?
Synopsis: Yet another triple play of questioning comic goodness as Marvel asks: What if Norrin Radd had not volunteered to become the Silver Surfer (and what of Zenn-Ls)? What if Dazzler had decided to become a lawyer (can she dazzle the jury)? and What if Luke Cage had found the Hammer of the Mighty Thor (watch out for corny slang)?
Synopsis: In a world with only parlor tricks and no sorcery, what would be come of Doctor Stephen Strange, the Sorcerer Supreme? Watch the hijinks as Doctor Strange, Baron Mordo and even the dread Dormammu battle each other with legerdemain. No card trick will go unperformed and somebody will be sawed in half.
Synopsis: Marvel's clown prince of nothing much, gets a few much needed makeovers. See Obnoxio as the amazing Spider-Man, the incredible Hulk, Wolverine, and Daredevil, the clown without fear. But he doesn't stop with Marvel. See him as Dick Tracy and Sherlock Holmes, too. And even copyright infringement won't stop this clown from dressing up as character's not unlike Batman and Superman.
Synopsis: The second to last trinity of one panel gags sees the following stories. What if the Daredevil could see (is it his blindness that keeps him fearless)? What if Thor got a haircut (are helmet sizes effected by hair sizes)? and What if Spider-Man married the Black Widow (it is indeed a gruesome sight to behold)?
Synopsis: People seek out different comforts to deal with their problems. Some people go for the bottle and some people go for McDonald's. What if Tony Stark had been the latter instead of the former. Witness the Golden Avenger overeat, try to cram himself into iron pants with a crowbar and even let out his legendary armor.
Synopsis: Finally this jam-packed issue comes to an end with one last trio of What ifs, or rather two What ifs and a What will. What if Dr. Doom had a sense of humor? What if Galactus needed quick cash (how much silver is in the Silver Surfer?)? and finally What Will happen when Stan Lee reads this issue (get your resumes ready)?
